RANDOMLY FOUND THIS ARTICLE, BUT TURNED OUT TO BE SO ACCURATE THAT IT NEEDS TO BE POST… there is no magic formula ever as each relationship (any kind) is unique but, these 9 aspects are quite a good criteria to determine if whether you are standing in a good relationship or you are deliberately wasting your time.
Have you ever found yourself asking “How do I know that I am in a good relationship?”
This is a common question asked to coaching clients and the way that most respond after listening to the particular clients own relationship they put a spin on a question and ask them “What do think a good relationship should give to the people in it?”
While all relationships both friendships and those a little more intimate, are different; with different people looking for different things from each other, there are some ways you can tell if you are in a good relationship and things are going well. In the following article we will look at 9 of the ways to tell you are in a good relationship and how to turn around a bad relationship.
1. No-one is playing games.
Humans have a habit of making things much harder than it needs to be, particularly when it comes to relationships and things involving our hearts. Often the problems start when you become too familiar with feeling hurt or wronged, in a state of constant jealousy, always feeling insecure, honest and trust became less important, the word love is not used in the right context, sex turned into some kind of gameplay, feelings need to be guessed and face to face conversations became faceless digital texting. Rather than running away from the problems developing in your relationship, it is important to face up to them and fix them.
And definitely never resist yourself from speaking up when you feel like you are being played with.
2. Both partners are at the same place emotionally.
If you want a serious and committed relationship, the worst thing you can do that will ensure that you never have one is to be cagey about your emotions and needs. If your partner gets the impression that a casual relationship is fine, you will probably never have anything more than a casual relationship. You should be clear from the get go exactly what you want from your relationship, if not then – when you know it. If you push someone away by being honest about your feelings, then it’s possible that they weren’t right for you or ready to commit anyway.
3. You communicate clearly, honestly and openly.
It is important to never shy away from even the most difficult conversations in a relationship. You will always build a stronger partnership I you talk and listen out for the truth, no matter how hard it is to take, instead of just going in circles. Always say exactly what is on your mind and don’t mince your words. It is never a good idea to expect people you care about to read your mind or guess what you are thinking and whatever you do, don’t play games of the heart or head. Never consider half truths to be any better than lies, because they aren’t and problems will always arise when the complete truth comes out.
Choose your words carefully to avoid offending and listen without becoming defensive. You shouldn’t see communication as being an important part of your relationship; you should see it as the relationship. The main reasons good relationships turn to bad ones more often than not are down to issues connected to commitment, issues connected to trust and issues connected to communication.
4. Back up your loving words with loving deeds.
It is wise to really work on your romantic relationship so that when you tell them you love them, it is actually just a verbal back up to what they already know from the way you have treated them day to day. It’s often the little things that make the biggest impact. Throughout the day, show them how much love them by doing things that prove they are on your mind.
You can say I love you or sorry as many times as you like, but if you do not actually prove that you mean those words by backing them up with actions, they won’t mean a thing.
5. No-one expects perfection from the relationship.
Just because your relationship is a good one, it doesn’t mean it is perfect. No relationship will ever be perfect, but you know you are onto a good thing when you are willing to open up to one another and really work on things.
Your close friends and significant other will never be perfect, but it is possible that they are perfect for you. Allow them the chance to prove this to you. When you put expectations to one side, you can start to really appreciate and enjoy the people you love for themselves. All relationships have their ups and downs; you know you are in a good relationship when there is nowhere else you want to be, despite what life throws at you.
6. When being present, vulnerable and honest are the things that are held most sacred in the relationship.
It probably goes against most of the fibres of your body and soul, but the strongest love you can experience is the one that breaks down through all your protective layers and leaves you feeling exposed and vulnerable. This involves taking that plunge and trusting the other person to accept you when you are being your most honest and open with them. As well as being there for each other, through the good times and through the bad times and not only being there in person and body, but in spirit an mind too.
So don’t just stay in a relationship with someone, really open up to that person and tear down all barriers and boundaries and allow them the chance to experience the REAL you.
7. When teamwork and freedom go hand in hand.
It is important to remember that you can’t force someone to love you or stay with you. Begging them to stay when they want to walk away, does not make for a good or healthy relationship. On the other side of the coin, you never should feel trapped into a relationship, because at the heart of all good relationships is freedom.
Along with freedom, teamwork is also an important part of the brickwork to a good relationship. One of the best ways to find personal happiness and growth is in an intimate and long-term relationship, so it will always work in your favour if you meet the other person halfway.. You will always achieve more in and from life if rather than working against them or on your own, you work together with your partner. A good relationship is based on how strong the component parts of that relationship are, the people involved in it and their strength will depend on whether the relationship is a good quality one or not.
Although you wish they were – no relationship is ever 50/50 all of the time, if any of the time. Neither of you can be 100% or 50% all the time, and on the days when either of you are 20% or 80%, the other has to fill in the gap. Meeting halfway is never really meeting halfway but being able to adjust yourself and your life and time to be what the other person needs at that moment in time.
8. When you share, celebrate and embrace one another’s personal growth.
You are in a good relationship when you are in it with someone you can get lost in, but when you are in it with someone who helps you discover who you are and who you want to be. They help you find and enable you to become the best you, you can be. When you consider it this way, you never meet the best in each other, but instead you help one another to grow into the best versions of each other by nurturing one another’s personal growth, spending time with each other.
If you were to sit down and think truthfully about how and what you and your partner add to one another’s lives, you will actually find that you have chosen to share things together such as pain, joy, bad times and good times.
9. No-one outside of the relationship is directing it.
Relationships are difficult to understand, especially when looked at from the outside in. So it is important to never let people on the outside, no matter how well-meaning they are, direct or call shots affecting your relationship with your significant other. I you are experiencing difficulties or going through a rough patch with your partner, sort it out and work on those problems with them and not some busybody.
Always live your life for you, not other people. When it comes to deciding whether you are in a good relationship for you or not, the decision is yours. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks or wants you to do and work out what you yourself want.